My stupidity working out like a maniac over my microminivacation last week finally got to my falling apart body. As I bent down to pick some mails shoved halfway under my office door, I felt a sharp pain stabbed between my shoulder blades. For days I've felt the knots here and there on my back, the sign I would've not ignored.
The pain systematically spread on my back. I could've taken a pain reliever, but I never took any pain reliever before except when I had my root canal fixed last year. Last month I called Chi Wellness to ask about their service. I picked up the phone and dialed their number praying they had available slot. I told Mr Miles Chong Cheng, the Director of the center I was interested to get a tuina massage. When he asked me If I were available for 5 pm appointment, I almost jumped out of my chair.
By 4:30 pm I was at their door. Lulu, a cheerful and friendly masseuse introduced herself and handed me a clipboard and consenting /personal info forms. When she learned that I experienced a low blood pressure in the past she asked me what time I had my lunch. She suggested me to have some light snack, some crackers or a banana. I walked up to a corner store near Brigham Women Hospital train stop. The Ethiopian kid at the cash register asked me if I were an Indian when he saw my 
bangles.
"I'm Malaysian."
I heard a gasp behind me. I turned around and came face to face with a beautiful smiling face, grinning ear to ear.
"You're Malaysian?" She put her right hand over her chest.
"Are you? Which part of Malaysia?"
"Yes!!! I was born in Penang."
It was my turn. "Get out of here!!! Me too!!! But my family moved to Taiping in 1968." We laughed and talked at the same time. So many things to talk about.
"Oh my god. I could not believe it. My family moved to Taiping when I was younger ." She put her hands on both of her cheeks.
"Ladies, ladies, I did a wonderful job today, right? I bring two Malaysians together." We forgot all about the kid at the cash register.
We thanked him. Both of us had to be somewhere else. I dug out my pocket book and handed her my card and she did hers.
Before we parted she held my hands and said, "Please keep in touch, okay? Selamat jalan."
"I will. Jumpa lagi." I walked back to Chi Wellness Center with bright smile as bright as a full moon.
When I got home I added Cheng Ai Kwok's name in my address book.
I found this beautiful postcard in my mailbox today. My sister KN mailed it from Langkawi during her three days trip with her daughter recently. The last time they were in legend island was five months before Mak died. Mak bought me a small bottle of minyak gamat (sea cucumber extract) and sent it to me along with a packet of roasted cashew nuts. She knew that I could easily get cashew nuts here, but she sent it anyway, and I treasured it.
From my sister and my niece description of their trip, I know there are so many changes since the last I time I set my foot on Langkawi soil thirteen years ago. Wow..that long, and yet I don't feel it. Is the earth rotates on its axis faster than it did when I was eight years young? I'd probably been sleeping for a long time. When I opened my eyes again it's already 2005.
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I found a rare treasure from Malaysia at Ming Supermarket a couple of days ago. I said rare treasure because that's what it is. I can get almost anything: banana leaves, pandan leaves, lemon grass, budu, tempoyak, all kinds of tropical fruits, either in a jar or fresh, buah nipah, ciku, jantung pisang (banana flower), kesum leaves, fresh tamarind, tamarind juice even durian. They are all imported from Thailand, Vietnam or Indonesia.
So, when I saw a packet of salted red snapper, I grabbed it even though I didn't plan to have salted fish curry. I put it away in a food pantry for two days. Two days was enough for salted fish to terrorize all the Mediterranean, American, Italian and Mexican food in my food pantry. I could hear the pasta screaming at couscous, "Oh my gawdddd,I can't take this anymore. Take that ugly fishy thing outta here.....!!!" With her nose sticking up in the air, couscous snorted, "I can't see how could she put that disgusting smelly thing in her mouth."
On the way home from work, I stopped at the one and only fruit/veggies stall at the corner of Filene's in downtown. I bought two green plantain. When I got home I boiled two cups of hot water and soaked the fish in hot water for about an hour to get rid of excess salt and to soften down (or up) the fish. I skinned off the plantains, and red potatoes.
I made a paste of three tablespoons of curry powder. Then I added salted fish which I cut into a smaller pieces, plantains and potatoes into the paste. I put on medium heat and leave on the stove until the potatoes turned soft but not mushy. I added two tablespoons of tamarind juice and two cups of light coconut milk.
As the salted-fish curry slowly simmering on the stove, I heat an olive oil in a small pan. I fried thinly slice ginger, crushed garlic, shallots and curry leaves and anise seed. When the aroma began to float up in the air, I pour everything into the curry. I put on the lid immediately to trap the aroma. Turn off the heat.
I didn't plan to cook Nasi Lemak for dinner tonight, but somehow when you're away from home either your senses become more sensitive or you're hallucinating. It all started when B reminded me about the two pounds of prawns in a freezer. Out of nowhere I could smell a dreamy fragrant of hot Nasi Lemak wrapped in banana leaf. We know smell depends of sensory receptors cells that respond to airborne particles, and as far as I know I'm the only Malay lives in this hood'. So, I must be hallucinating.
"How about sambaa toomes udeng and nasi laymak?"
"Boo, you're freaking me out. I'm thinking about nasik lemak too."
"Am I fine and good or am I fine and good?"
I rolled my eyes.
I pulled out the veggie compartment to look for lemongrass. The lemongrass I had planted in a terracotta pot in the kitchen all wittered when were away visiting in-laws in Harlem, Brooklyn and Queen.
"We are out of lemongrass, and sambal(cooked chillies paste)tumis udang without isn't a sambal tumis udang without lemongrass."
We had a short conference and came to a conclusion. B would do the dishes and clean the kitchen and I'll go and get a few stalks of lemongrass at Super88Market.
Back home, I ate nasi lemak three or four times a week for breakfast. My favorite warung (stall) was at Taman Selera Tun Sardon. For RM1 I could get a scoop(which was plenty) of nasi lemak with sambal of my choice. Either sambal ikan bilis (anchovy)or chicken, shrimp. Sometimes they had cuttlefish sambal too. The stall was always full. Tak cukup kaki tangan. One person scooped the rice in medium bowl, pressed the rice to the rim and smacked down on banana leaves, the next person scooped the lauk and gravy, added two or three slices of cucumber and pushed it to the last assembler which was to wrap the nasi lemak with banana leaves layered on top of piece of newspaper cut. When it was ready, the nasi lemak presented to a customer in neat wrap resembled a pyramid.
When I got home from the store, B already thawed, shelled and cleaned the prawns, julienned the fresh ginger, sliced the shallots and washed two cups of jasmine rice. I prefer to steam the rice rather than cook it in a traditional way. I put the rice in a transparent bowl, added a cinnamon stick, three cloves, a stalk of lemon grass, ginger, a pinch of salt and shallots. I poured 3 and 1/2 cups of coconut milk diluted with water. The only ingredient I was lack of was daun pandan (screw pine leaves)
While the rice on the stove, I pureed lemongrass, garlic and onion and added to chillies paste. I didn't add belacan (shrimp paste) because B would sneezing all day.When the oil was hot in a wok, I poured the ingredients in a hot oil. I lowered the heat to medium. Mak always said, tried not to cook in a hurry because I would forget to berdoa (pray). Pray for the food to be nourished. I stirred chillies paste now and then to make sure it cooked evenly. I added a half cup of water and stirred again and waited until the paste was pecah minyak- I could see the oil surfaced and the smell of raw chillies in the air was completely gone. I added the prawns and covered the pot. After 10 minutes I split the sambal into two halves. One half I added orange juice and a teaspoon of sugar. It was for B. I improvised it as his taste buds isn't develop to take Malay hot food. And the other half I added tamarind juice. I let them simmered on medium heat for another 30 minutes. By this time the Nasi Lemak was ready, scooped in each plate. I forgot to get a cucumber, I used lettuce as a condiment.
It has been a while since I had mackerel curry. I was putting away some frozen strawberry and blueberry for my smoothie when I saw two stiffed mackerels in a ziploc hiding at the far corner in a freezer.
I bought them two weeks ago when I was at Super88Market and I forgot all about it. B likes them broiled and with salsa mangoes on top. Except for curry leaves, I have all the ingredients for fish curry. I still have one big packet of curry powder Mak sent me last year. I keep them in veggies section in a refrigerator. I prefer to use Malaysian made curry powder as it has different mixture from Indian or Carribean curry powder. B thinks it's not that they have different ingredients, but it's more toward my loyalty to Malaysian made food. He knows how excited I am when ever I come across Malaysian made food.
I was thrilled to learn that I don't need to do the gutting and the cleaning the first time I bought the small fish here. I was about eight or nine years old when Mak showed me how to clean the fish. I'd watched her did it many times before. Between stirring the boiling rice in a pot, grated the coconut, Mak gutted and cleaned two or three katis of fishes effortlessly.
"Make sure you have a handful of coarse salt and limes (can substitute to tamarind juice) nearbybefore you clean the fish" Mak told me, "You don't want your whole kitchen smell like fish."
While she was washing the vegetables, I clumsily trying to hold the slippery and slimy bugger. I was glad they were dead; Holding the sharp, pointed knife in my right hand, I squeezed the poor fish's head so hard I almost crushed its skull.
Tail went first, followed by pectoral fins on both sides. If the fish has scales, they had to be scraped. Scraping the scales fish was one of many steps of cleaning fish that I hated. The scales fly all over the place, they landed on my face, hair and shirt. Usually by the time I was done cleaning the fish, I almost looked like a mergirl (if not a mermaid). Scrape the scales from way up to the head. Turn it over and scrape the other side too.
With a steady move, make an incision from the gills down to the vent. Remove the guts from the cavity. Without damaging the fish head, remove gills by nipping a small piece of its throat. Clean the fish under running water. Make sure all the dark red-brown kidney are out.
When all the fishes gutted, clean the fish, soak in salt and lime juice water for a few minutes. This is the ultimate step to make sure the fish doesn't smell too fishy.
The second cleaning need to be done under the running water. Clean inside out.It wasn't that hard to clean the fish when I did three or four times a week under Mak's sharp eyes. Cleaning fish is like doing everything else, it becomes natural with practice.
The first time I prepared fish curry it was all watery and bland. After many times of trials and errors, I'd learned how much cooking oil and how hot should it be before I throw in a pinch halba (fenugreek seeds), slice shallots and crushed garlic. I'd learned once the curry powder is added to it, it should be stirred constantly, other wise it'll burn. We had the curry with jasmine rice, and baby spinach salad sprinkled with toasted almonds. After the dinner, B took out oblaten, a delicate and crispy wafer cookies. This time he got vanilla flavor. It's said oblaten was introduced to Roman emperor in 1349. (please correct me if this wrong). Back home, we call it Kuih Sepit. It's popular during Chinese New Year. It was so good, kruup, kruup, kruup , half of the container was gone in no time and a lot of crumbs left behind. The last time I bought it, I only ate a few pieces. Then I had to leave due to some crisis at work. When I returned a couple of hours later, the golden round container wasn't on the coffee table. I went to the kitchen, there he was stuffing his face with the last four pieces of oblaten, all at once into his mouth while stirring the pasta sauce on the stove. I was ready to pout my mouth when he turned around and said as nothing has happened, "Hi babe, you're're back.." The corner of his left mouth and his mouthache were laced with oblaten crumbs. I burst out laughing like a langsuir.
When you're far, far away from home, seeing, hearing, or smelling something that ties to your homeland is like a medicine to your homesickness. Little things that you overlook before, suddenly have their significant. You develop your sensitivity that you didn't know you have it all along. It's like when you learn rollerblading. Once you learn to balance yourself on the wheels, you learn to stop, move forward and backward and sides, you're forced to use the muscles that you never knew you had them. Once you get hang to it, you can't stop, but wait until a few months you'll start to notice your legs have develop some muscles here and there at the right place.
That's how I see it I've been living here far from home. I've become more observance and sensitive.
Everytime I go to Supermarket 88, I walk up to every aisle they have looking for products made in Malaysia even though I know the possibility of seeing canned, bottled, wrapped, rolled and packed food that made in Malaysia is very low. So, far I've seen two types of food that manufactured in Malaysia.
So, when I spotted a yellow shining wrap package with the word Belacan, Made in Malaysia, I wished I could grab the Vietnamese lady who was scolding her young son in a shattered glass voice, dragged her from her cart and showed her what I had found. "Shut the hell up lady and let me show you this." So, I kept the giddiness I felt to myself.
A key ingredient, in many classic dishes of Malaysia, is a dried shrimp paste called Belacan, also spelt Belachan or Blacan. It's usually in the form of a small pressed brick or cake. Not overly 'fishy', a tiny amount of this paste adds sweetness to meats, intensity to fish & seafood and a 'kick' to vegetables like Kangkung Belacan. Belacan makes a flavorful base for sauces and gravies, adding depth and an intriguing taste that you can't quite decipher. The pressed cake has a powerful scent when uncooked, like "stinky cheese". But don't be put off - it mellows out & harmonizes in the cooking, leaving behind an understated richness that cannot be reproduced. Best described as a natural flavor enhancer, belacan is what gives many of the foods from Southeast Asia - Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Indonesia, Vietnam - that authentic zest and flavor underlying the dense fabric of spice and herbs!
Belacan is a must have ingredient in Malays household. Sambal Belacan is incomplete without belacan. Sambal Belacan is made of red chillies, roasted shrimp paste,concentrate tamarind juice, a pinch of sugar and a pinch of salt.
I remember the first time I grounded the chillies I was about 10 years old. I was too eager to help Mak in the kitchen I ignored Rule #2 Mak told me. Never look directly at the chilies in the mortar when the chillies started to break into small pieces. Rule #1 which also I broke was to bring pestle not higher than the edge of mortar. The next thing I knew a small piece of chillie splat into my right eye. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa........I ran into the bathroom.
When a blender invaded Mak's kitchen, Mak still refused to use the blender to make sambal belacan. She preferred to use an old fashion way to prepare sambal belacan.
Listening to: Hypnotic, Paul Taylor.
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