A few years ago I developed a habit of guessing a number of commuters in a car I boarded onto every time I took a subway. In my first attempt I came up with 12 people too many, the second time, 9 commuters went missing, the third attempt I narrowed down to five. By my fourth guess, I had two extra passengers on board. A couple of times I got the exact numbers.
After I made a guess I counted them. The counting part had to be done in the most delicate and unsuspected way. It had to be quick and efficient, like when you debone a chicken. When the process is over, you have an opened butterfly, flattened chicken on one side and the bones are on one side. I did all of these not because I was bored out of my mind. I was trying to learn to be HERE and NOW. I figured if I couldn't be HERE all the time, at least I could be here sometimes.
I've always been a dreamer. Within a few minutes I sit down or standing in line, I could be anywhere in the world. Flying between the sweet puffy cloud that taste like halwa rambut , with my satin-hand-made-wings fluttering like a dragonfly's wings. The dream was endless.
That was many years ago. I no longer guess the number of the train passengers even though I'm still dreaming. I can't help it, I'm a hopeless dreamer. But during those times when I disciplined myself to count the passengers, I guess somewhere, somehow I trained my mind to stay on the ground most of the time.
beth,
Thank you :)) Thank you :). You heard me.
Posted by: sitiaishah | July 21, 2010 at 05:50 AM
I love this post, Anna. Go ahead and let yourself dream! I'm sure you're "here" when you really need to be.
Posted by: beth | July 19, 2010 at 05:49 PM