Tok Wan - Grandpa

When I was a little girl, one thing I wanted so much and did not get it was a grandfather. I saw other kids around me had their grandfathers visited them from time to time. Some of the kids had two grandfathers and I had none.

I noticed that these kids were spoiled rotten by their grandfathers. This kid who lived next door when we lived in Kelantan had two grandfathers visited him within a year. Every morning I heard him whining and crying, refused to eat his breakfast until his grandfather took him for a walk.

And when they got home he whined again, refused to take a bath unless his grandfather gave him a bath. What a lucky little devil, I thought.

One thing that made me mad was these kids acted a little cocky when their grandfathers were around. They stopped playing with us. When they were with their grandfathers, they looked at us with a smirk on their faces, which I interpreted as: Look at you, where is your grandpa? A couple of these kids stopped talking to us when their grandfathers were around, as having their grandfathers was the best thing in the world. I envied them .

I looked longingly at a large wrinkle hand wrapped around a little hand when they walked side by side. I looked in awe when a grandfather and a kid came out from the store, stopped near a trash can, the grandfather unwrapped the ice cream cone, threw the wrapper in a trash can and gave the ice cream to his grandkid. The kid licked the ice cream, looked up at the grandfather with a huge smile. He held out the ice cream to the grandfather. The grandfather held the kid's hand, licked the ice cream and they smiled at each other. All of sudden my ice cream didn't taste that good anymore.

"Wait until your grandfather goes home, and you'll be crawling and begging us to let you back in our team. And you will learn a lesson." My head was busy scheming a plan. Of course it didn't happen because we wanted to hear what they did with their grandfathers.

One day I asked my mother if I any of my grandfathers would visit us even I knew the answer.

"You know that none of your grandfathers is still around. They were all dead long time ago."

"I wish TokWan* is still alive."

"Me too."

"I will show off to them how good my grandfather is."

"That is not a good reason to have a grandfather."

"Why?"

"Because you want to show off to them, not because you want to Tok Wan for yourself."

"But I want to have TokWan for myself."

"Then say it."

"I want to have TokWan for myself so I can show him my drawings and my slingshot."

"I know TokWan is smiling right now."

Comments

[anasalwa]

Zawi,
None of us (me and my siblings) ever experienced this special bond. Even our only grandmother (a woman who adopted my mother) never, never showed or said affectionate words to me.

[zawi]

Ana,
The bond between a grandparent and a grandchild is a very special one. Both yearn to be loved. That is something to be experienced. Unfortunately you dont have a grandfather to give you that experience. The feeling was more intense for you due to the display by the neighbur's kid.