Present Is a Gift

Two Fridays ago at the end of my group session I gave the clients a sort of riddles. I've always started and ended group sessions with riddles or trivia that I hope to help them to have more awareness of the HERE and NOW. I told them to walk down Massachusetts Avenue, turn onto left onto Washington Street and look for Andy."

"Who is Andy?"

"Why is he  on Washington Street?"

"Is he old, is he young?"

"What is he doing on Washington Street?"

"Will I know him when I see him?"

"Give us a hint, a clue".

"I already gave you the clue."

"What is it?"

"Walk down the............"

"That's not the clue."

"Turn left on Washington Street is the clue. I could've said walk down on Washington Street instead."

"OOOhhhh.......this is hard Ana, ooppppss sorry, you said not to use hard, this is a challenge Ana. The last one was easier."

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I developed this habit a few years ago when I became frustrated and a huge challenge for me to stay in the moment. My mind started to wander back and forth thinking about why didn't I say this when so and so said that as I was opening a refrigerator door. When I closed the refrigerator I was still beating myself. The next thing I knew I was looking for my apartment key. When I retraced my steps, there was my keys sitting pretty on Dannon Yogurt screaming furiously at me: You dumbass woman, what the hell were you thinking leaving me here in a cold!!!

I've found out that when I walked down the streets and started to pay attention to missing letters on the store signs, odd shapes of street lamps, windows and doors of the buildings or noticed the crooked street signs because of the missing nails or stopped to look at the curve and letters on manhole tops, or an empty coffee cup shoved into check valve of fire hydrant on State Street, I could get myself on the here and now mode. I felt there was a door opened up somewhere within me that I became more alert of my surrounding. All of sudden I felt I have more energy, more vibrant. Perhaps I reactivated some lazy cells that had been sleeping for a long time.

The more I practiced it the more I enjoyed it, and the longer I could stay on the here and now mode. But I was also aware the wonderful feeling didn't stay long if I started to day dream again. So it has been a constant challenge.

I didn't return to work until this Monday. And on Monday morning as I was checking a bunch of messages on my voice mail, AM, one of the guys from the session stood outside my office door and wrote a word in the air. His face was flushed with excitement. I made a sign to come on in.

"Ana, Ana, I found Andy.'' He put his palms together up in front of his chest Iike I've always do after the sessions. He was grinning, exposed his two missing front teeth.

"Andy is a dry cleaning store." He did a Tiger Wood fist pump up.

Comments

[anasalwa]

Deborah,
I experience it more than I want to of being here but not here moment, and forget where I place the keys, the papers, the letters,even the thoughts. I think it is a constant reminder to ourselves, a continously work to be here and now until it becomes part of us. I went over to your site. I love your new babies on your working desk.Thank you for reading my blog.

Sunflora,
I'm recovering from the surgery beutifully. I try to restrain myself from too much physical activities though. How is the little one doing? You put it so nice and tender, wisdom and strength:)). but I think they are more the mistakes that I've been trying to figure them out to make it right this time around.

[sunflora]

Hi Ana

I've been away for awhile so my wishes could be belated. Read that you had a surgery and hope you are feeling better already!

You always made me open my eyes and see new things. I hope I always have your wisdom and your strength.

[Deborah]

Back again! Ana, I love your posts!! Sometimes I feel like I see myself (can't stay in the here and now! Where is the paper I JUST put down) sometimes I see myself the way I want to be (being able to pay attention and remember things, taking care of people and taking care of myself!) I LOVED this story. My kids get tired of hearing those stories about moments that mean so much to me, but I will continue to treasure them in my heart. Thank you!