There was a white plastic container on my desk when I arrived at work this morning. A piece of paper tore off from newspaper taped on the container with my name scribbled on it . A huge chunk of cheese cake in it.
I took a bite. Fantabulous. I went to a community room to look for the person who was responsible for the cake. They were having a gratitude meeting.
When the meeting was over I went up to him to thank him.
"What cheesecake?" His eyes twinkled.
"It's fantabulous."
"You already had it? It's only 9.30."
"Did I have what?"
"A cheese cake."
"What cheesecake?"
He laughed. "You got me."
He has been in and out of detox centers many times for the past three years. He slept in an abandon buildings and cars during cold weather. When the weather was warm he slept on a bench in the parks around the city.
He used to blamed his parents: his cold, distant father who beat him and his mother when he was drunk, he blamed his mother who had an affair with his father's elder brother when his father was in prison, he used to blame his grandmother ( he referred her as wicked and bitter old woman)who gave him the first taste of alcohol when he was five years old during the family Thanksgiving dinner.
He was a quiet little boy. He liked to play with little plastic soldiers he collected. He enjoyed snapping snowpeas with his mother in the kitchen. He felt closed to his mother when he stood on the stool next to her watching the soapy water on his mother's hands.
His grandmother didn't like it at all. "You are raising a sissy!!!" His grandmother screamed as his mother. "Why don't you rough him up?"
So, when everybody was in the dining room, his grandmother gave him a sip.
"What makes you think this time will be different from the last time?" I asked him 90 days ago when they transferred his file to me.
"This time I'll do it for myself. I'm not doing it for my kids or anybody else. I'm tired of pleasing everybody".
We wrote down his plans and goals and I showed him how to do it one at the time. A short term goal first.
So far, he has been committed to his daily schedule and short term goals.
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