One of the mothers at The House refused to let her son to participate in Halloween party we prepared for the children. She went up to the Director and told her it was a devil worshiping act and as a church goer, there was no way in hell she would let her kid to get involved.
Fine, said the Director. We respect your decision, but I don't agree with your statement about devil worshiping. What we do here is trying to make the kids feel at home, to help them have sense of belonging.
Most of the children in the program have been living in the shelters, foster houses or on the streets all their lives. They are homeless like their mothers. Some of the children have been living with foster home under DSS monitor since they were born. When the mothers stay sober and clean for certain time and prove they are capable of taking care of themselves and their children, they would be allowed to reunite with their children. But, it's not that easy. It's a long and painful process. A numerous court trips with their, lawyers or probation officers or Social Worker, counseling with therapists or psychiatrists before the decision is made.
Sometimes they overwhelm and crumble under pressure. They afraid they couldn't take care of their children, they afraid the children wouldn't want them, they afraid if they were going to be a good mothers. It is a crucial moment. A moment that push them to relapse: heading to a nearest bar or a puff.
Anyway, let me get back to Halloween party. I was in the Director office when the mother came to protest about the party. I stayed on the back ground. I admit I don't much about a Halloween nor that I ever participate in a costume dressing. But I always give a hand and come up with some learning experience games for the children. The mother's protest lasted about 30 minutes.
She let her son to joined us. All of us gave a huge whoop and highfived when he put on a Batman costume. I could see his smiling face behind his Batman costume.
Five volunteers (3 colleges students and 2 working women) set up sotry telling corner, face painted booth and puppet booth. Candies and food and laughter, everybody had a wonderful time. I broke my fast with a date and my first Dove bar. It wasn't bad, not bad at all.
Anisah,
Please don't apologize. You're right about parenting by example. 90% of the women I've been working with are lack of parenting skills. Most of them are single parents.
They're still struggling with their addiction, depression, anxiety and long list of mental illness history.
They bring up their children the way they were brought up by their parents.
It's a long way to go, but god willing they'll get there.
Posted by: anasalwa | October 28, 2005 at 08:25 PM
Halloween is devil worship, according to that church-goer woman? What an aberration of facts! Halloween is the American tradition, copied from the Christian tradition of All Saints' Day. Unless she is prepared to condemn everyone who attends Holy Communion in church on All Saints' Day, as devil worshippers, I think her 30 minute protest does not go down well with her son's developments. OK, I concede that the last sentence is strong. In the Christian tradition, one shouldn't judge, lest one be judged. The point I was trying to make, albeit not quite successfully, is that it's not good to show one's child that one is prepared to argue/take on others when one is unsure of one's facts; it is not good parenting by example. I shall stop here, for fear of jabbering on without making my case clearer. My apologies.
Posted by: Anisah | October 28, 2005 at 08:03 PM