Letting It Go While Learning Not to Procastinate

By 6:10 am I was wide awake. I looked out the bedroom window and my heart soared and my smile was as wide as Lake Titicaca (I have no idea why did Lake Titicaca surfaced on my mind). I did some stretches and jumped back in my bed to work on my right quad.

I massaged and worked on pressure points last night. As I pressed my thumb I visualized I flattened each of the pea size knots that have caused the pain in my knee all these times. After I flattened them , I bent my middle finger and placed it under my thumb. I aimed at each of the flattened knot and released the middle finger with a force, each knot flew away and broken into thousand pieces in the universe.

The pain was gone this morning. I brewed my first cup of coffee and did some sit ups on an excercise ball. I got to get a yoga mat to hold the ball into place. Exercises ball and rug don't get along at all.

I spend more time sitting on the ball trying to hold it in place than I actually do the sit up.

A couple of times or perhaps more than a couple of times I rolled over from the ball and landed on the rug. I swore in Malay and in English at the rug and the ball, but I laughed at myself halfway my swearing, because I was sure looked silly rolling off the ball in my jammies.

While sipping my coffee I did some sketches to add to my pink creatures quilt project. I hope I could finish it in a month or less.

With warm and beautiful days are approaching, I really need an extra effort to get this project going.

It was 9:00 am when I headed to the beach for my very first official outdoor run since March.

I stood at the edge of water and breathed deeply for the good health, the empathy, the caring, the love and the non-judgmental traits I wanted to have. When I exhaled I let go my disappointment, anger, sadness and bitterness.

It seemed so easy to put all these efforts in writing, but it's not for me. A continous effort actually, a struggle within myself, a self reflection, questions that went unanswered that I've told myself to surrender sometimes.

I quietly asked for forgiveness and the strength  from The Creator and I put my right foot forward.

As  my feet sunk into a soft sand, and I smelt the salty air, and I heard the gentle waves  I thought I was the only person on the beach. I wanted to run a little longer, but I stopped when I reached a five mile mark. I didn't want to overwork my legs and my knees after 2 months rest.

The sun was high and bright when I walked home.

Comments

[dale]

Oh, this is lovely.

[beth]

So glad to hear you are out and running again Ana! Good for you for being so patient and not pushing it too soon. And how great that the massage helped so much. Sending you happy spring thoughts!

[QFinder]

It's so strange to me that I was in Boston today and could've walked right by you without ever knowing. If I had, I could've just given you a crane.

[Percicilan]

I like this posting, especially the last 2nd last bit about letting it all go. It is not easy for me, but like you, I want to try...

[mama rock]

well,you are running again...awesome! but take it easy kak...dont overdo it, spring just started and you still have summer :)

[Sofia]

Hey! Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed reading that post. Though our situations are different I think the frustration and sadness we feel is the same. I've been going through some personal/family problems for a while, it's taken a toll on me. It felt so nice to read how you were able to get up and start your day (beautiful day i might add!) and start fresh despite problems. It was really nice :] Thanks, it was something I need.
Best of luck!

[anasalwa]

Dale,
Thank you.

Beth,
Yes, I do, but I've been extra careful this time. And the massage, the accupuncture and the pressure points work Dale tipped me have been great helpful. Thank you for the sending me a spring happy thoughts.

QFinder,
Yes, wasn't it wonderful? I found your blog and thinking about your beautiful cranes on the same day you were in Boston. I'm sure I'll find your crane one day.

Percicilan,
I think sometimes all we could do is letting it all go.

Mamarock,
Thank you so much. Yes, I'm taking it easy. The spring is still around.

Sofia,
Thank you so much. I agree with you. We might be world apart, but we experience the same feelings. Hope your spring is getting warmer and beautiful.