FUNNYACCENT

Do We Have a Choice?

Earlier today during a group session with Phase One and Phase Two clients, I asked them to write a sentence in seven words of their feelings at that moment.

One of them, three day fresh from detox center arrived on The House door step with complete package been there done that attitude said he didn't want to write on a piece of paper I gave to each of them. He'd rather had me wrote on a white board.

"Lovely, what is it?"

" I don't want to be here".

So I wrote on a white board, I do not want to be here.

"Do you mean here in this room or here in a program?"

He tilted up his chin, his eyes spoke first, what are you gonna do about it? and said, "Here in this room."

4 pairs of eyes  traveled from him to me and back to him waiting for my reaction.

2 pairs of eyes stared at their sneakers.

3 pairs of eyes looked in the space in front of them.

I caught EL, one of 3 pairs of eyes slowly took a deep breath, dropped both of his hands between his knees, silently counting to ten. He kept staring at the space in front of him.

Someone cleared his throat.

"Where would you rather be?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Okay, you can leave now,"

He looked surprised. "Are you serious? But you'll give me a pull up and I'll get into a trouble."

"I  don't give pull up to anybody who doesn't want to participate in my groups. But I'll give a note to your counselor."

"I don't have to be here you know."

"M, you can leave now if you want to."

"I meant I don't need to be here in this program. I don't need this, you know what I mean?"

"Oh? You can leave the program if you want to."

"What are you talking about? You don't understand. The court sent me here. My PO said go to the program or jail. I didn't have a choice."

"Hahh.....Interesting, let's talk about choices."

"I thought we are going to talk about motivation today." El looked calmer now.

"Yes, we are. As a matter of fact we are talking about motivation. Choices we make that motivate us to move forward or slide backward. M said the court sent him here, and he didn't have a choice. "

"Man, you had a choice. The court didn't force you  to come here. You are here because you didn't want to go to jail. You made the choice right there," said Eli, our senior citizen resident.

"Yeah man. I did the same thing. Program or jail"

From that point, it seemed everybody had things to say about choices and what, who and why motivates them to make their choices.

We discussed about wrong choices, right choices, or when M decided to enter the program instead of went to jail, does it mean he didn't have a choice?

It was an uplifting discussion for all of us. By the end of the session we agreed sometimes we make less desirable choice to avoid a repercussion.

M was adamant that it wasn't his choice to come to the program, but I was glad he stayed the whole hour.

Smeagol the Frog and Juno

I was home all day except when I went out to drop Juno and Namesake DVDs to Blockbuster. I did some sketches of frogs for my pink amphibians and reptiles quilt project.  One of them came out more  like Smeagol than a frog. Perhaps I will name it Smeagol when I finish the whole piece.

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I never watched any teenager movies before that made me think, "What if I were a mother and one day my daughter came home and told me she was pregnant?" And Juno did it.

Me and Andrew at Bancroft Tower.

Nor and Scott's son, Andrew. Isn't he a cutey?

Worcester ohhh ..Worcester

Finally this morning, my good friend LanLan and I made it to Noriah's house in Worcester. We took a 6:50 am commuter rail . While waiting to board the train a blind gentelman at the next table asked us where we were heading. LanLan told him we were going to Worcester. The blind gentelman said he was attending a conference at West Natick.

When they made an announcement to board the train, LanLan asked him if needed help. The gentleman said yes, and he held LanLan's right elbow as we walked up to platform two.

The train was delayed 10 minutes and we arrived at Worcester/Union Station at 9:15 a.m. Nor picked us up a few minutes later. Her son Andrew was in the back seat. Andrew was five years old, shy cute little boy when I met Nor four years ago during Hari Raya gathering in Newton.

He's still cute but no longer a shy kid. He asked us if we were going to watch him in a baseball game later. Yes, we would love to, I told him.

I've been to Worcester three times before but never beyond Worcester District Court when I accompanied the clients.

The landscape changed completely into a beautiful postcard scenery after we left town limit. It was a lovely ride.

Once we entered Moreland Street all I could think of was how wonderful and challenging this place would be to run because of its a few hilly slopes. I couldn't help it but to say it out loud to Nor and LanLan. "This is a dream place to run."

Scott, Nor's husband joined us at the island/dining table a few minutes later as Nor flipping pancakes at the stove.

Nor and her husband Scott are gracious puan/tuan rumah , hostess & host . We chatted, we ate, we chatted and we ate. Around 2:30 Scott took Andrew to a baseball game while Nor, LanLan and I munched a freshly fried karipap, curry puff. After the tea, we joined the father and son at the baseball game. Andrew 's team won 9-0.

We took a 6:05 pm train back to Boston.

Hat On

On my way to attend a monthly Massachusetts Coalition for Homeless meeting this morning I ran into two interesting figures.

It was a lovely, sunny and breezy morning in Downtown. I'd just got off the train and headed to Church On The Hill on Bowdoin Street, next to State House when I spotted a man wore a hat made of USPS Express Mail Envelope. I was walking behind him when I took this picture. A little blur but you could see he pulled the envelope all the way down to his neck.

Thank goodness (and thank you Dale :)) my right knee let me walked fast now. I quickened my steps and walked around the white truck. When I was ahead of him I turned around to see if he had cut the holes on the front side of the envelope. He didn't, but he had two narrow slits so he could see his way. I wonder what he was up to.

The second man was from The Freedom Trail Tours. This gentleman gladly let me snapped his picture when I was walking down Chauncy Street.

Joy

I'm not a difficult person to please. Clear blue sky, bright and warm sun, gentle breeze that sweeps my face, birds singing in the trees, little wild flower grows between the crack of a sidewalk could stretch my joy and my smile miles away.

And for the past few days despite a huge temptation not to wait until the end of April to run again, I've been smiling, laughing and humming when I am work, home, or in the train. Seriously.

Earlier today in a community room while I was cleaning the white board after weekly group session, I heard the voice behind me.

"Are you singing in your language?"

Startled, I turned around toward the door, "Sorry?"

J one of the residents stood outside the door said he heard me singing.

And I thought I was ">humming.

Every morning I linger under this magnolia tree, hypnotized by a delicious scent of its flowers.

Oh....No

Every morning as I climb up the stairs from Red Line platform to Orange Line Oak Grove bound platform, I feel such a relief when I don't hear this man's voice singing the same song over and over. Perhaps I sound like a mean and cold person, but five mornings/week before I have my first cup of coffee, I listen to this man strums his  acoustic guitar and repeats the lyric:

When I wake up in the mornin.............

Oh.........Lordddddddddddddddd.......

Jesus wakes you uppppppppppppppppp.........

I thank Jesus, oh Lorddddddddddddddddddddddddd...

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...........

Oh.....Lordddddddddddddddddddd......

Thank you Jesus, oh Lordddddddddddddddd

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.........

Repeat the first line all the way down............

I'm a tone deaf and I can't even carry a tune, but I still enjoy listening to some mind soothing musics, but boy this man's tune is killing me. The way he sings, I could say exactly how it is in Malay, berterabur .

One morning he wasn't at his usual spot,  and I said to myself...

Oh.......Lorddddddddd, thank you.

But this morning, he's back.

Oh.......Lorddddddddddddd, no, no.....................

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Massachusetts Avenue is not always as quiet as this morning.

                                      Financial District , Downtown

Slowly But Surely

I give myself another week before I start running again. I look with longing when the runners run pass me.  But I know it is better to wait than not able to run at the end. I want my knee completely heal. I've been walking a lot for the past weeks or since I had my first acupuncture treatment and twice a day self-administered trigger point session. I've been walking everywhere when ever I have an opportunity.

Last Sunday Mama Z invited me to her house after we finished walking two laps around Castle Island. Mama Z is an American married to a Malaysian man, Papa Z. There lived in Malaysia for 16 years until year 2000 when they returned here. They have five lovely daughters. All are grown up.

Kat and Rem were at home when I was there last week. Kat told me in perfect Malay about her favorite kuih sampan or badak berendam. Mama Z was a great cook. She made a wicked good asam pedas followed by kuih sampan and puteri sebilik while Papa Z got himself busy on the deck baking pomfret.

When Mama Z dropped me at Quincy Adam subway station three hours later, all I wanted was a couch.

This morning we decided to walk along Charles River but we forgot about Boston Marathon and all the excitments  that came along with it. And it meant the parking restrictions and road closures. After almost an hour looking for a parking space we droved back to Castle Island.

The temp was still in low 50's but the bright and warm sun was enough to lift the spirit.

Time to Look Into Closet

The weather is getting more beautiful and warmer. Light sweater shouldn't be neglected as for now, but I've put all my wool hats and gloves in my laundry basket. And I am ready to drop off all my winter jackets at the dry cleaner tomorrow morning. Boy, I am so ready for my summer dresses and sandals.

Have You Seen My Hippo?